Going Home

1. GROW UP! Your are not a child anymore, your needs and wants will not be realized if you just passively sit and wait.

2. GO HOME. The love you crave for is difficult to feel at a DISTANCE.

3. The decision of wether you are STRONG enough is YOURS alone to make.

4. You have the CHOICE not to bring back the blames and shame. Take your relationship out from the painful PAST.

5. Do not go home armed with the words "denial", "anxiety" and "solution". Instead ARM yourself with COMPASSION.

6. They do not need to be FIXED but rather, they need to be LOVED. If they are SECURE enough in your love, they will want change because they know that if they FAIL you will still love them.

7. ACCEPT and LOVE them despite their FLAWS.

8. Do not COMPARE them to others or your ideals.

9. There is a DIFFERENCE between APPROVAL and LOVE.

10. You do not need to like what they LIKE, eat what they EAT, be interested in their INTERESTS.

11. Change from ADVOCACY to INQUIRY. You will show more interest, respect and humility.

12. The ANSWER is just as powerful as the question. It can give you the MOTIVATION to listen.

13. If you truly LISTEN, you will find the meaning in everything, in everywhere, even in YOURSELF.

14. The respect you have for them is equal to the RESPECT you have for YOURself.

15. Do not be afraid to let you thoughts and feelings be KNOWN.

16. MONITOR you feelings and anxiety.

17. Be SECURE in you ability to love-without FEAR of engulfment and ABANDONMENT.

18. Greet each new day with the hope of change and IMPROVEMENT, not victory.

19. You will know when you have succeeded because you will be able to say "I am loved because I love" not "I love because I am loved" and also say "I need you because I love you" and not "I love you because I need you".

20. If you fail, ask yourself this: "Why did this happen again?" and "What am I going to LEARN this time?"