Something is Bothering Me

The reason behind my nonsense posts this morning was that I seem to have said something wrong that have hurt the person I love and respect the most. Financial issues have gotten in between our relationship plenty of times already since we decided to get married.

I'm not used of asking someone else for financial help and the idea of sharing expenses with him is a new, if not odd, idea to me. He was taken aback with my questions but he must understand that even my family played a small role in my financial status(even when I was a student). I love him so and it hurts me that I have yet made another issue during this time when he just lost a member of his family. Nahihiya talga ako. I'd be really proud and feel special if he does spend something for me (other than the occasional spending for food and movies)...

Hay, can't seem to be making wise decisions or say the right words...

Birthday Coming Up

Oh yeah, my birthday is coming up. And unlike last year, I don't want to spend it in some bar getting drunk. And being dropped at our house by some guys I barely even knew. I was a mess last year. Good thing someone was kind enough to accompany me in my misery.

I remember this restaurant at the four-star hotel that is located at its private jetty. Was thinking of a formal dinner with my family. Only problem though is that there won't be any sunset there. The restaurant gets a good view of the sunrise and I don't think they'd be open that early. But I equally love the water and stars at night so id still get the ambience I'm looking for.

Dunno what my mom is planning though, she mentioned a trip to hong kong or singapore for the family just after the sale of the commercial lot.

Betrayed?...Don't blame me though

Ten Things You Need to Know About Me

1. I'd like to go to Salzburg!

2. I eat ice cream when I feel bad.

3. I hate falling in line, even for food at any fastfood.

4. I like to dress up and watch musical plays.

5. I'd marry anyone who plays the saxophone...if he proposes...hahaha!

6. I like yanni, david benoit and rob costlow.

7. I used to smoke until I got sinusitis.

8. I stay quiet when I'm angry.

9. I buy and drink very expensive liquor on christmas day and new year.

10. I love to cook and bake.

oh yeah, forgot...It was both our idea. Now, if I just had the money to go to Salzburg!

or better yet, maybe a bottle of San Mig Light will make me feel better. Never mind my pain killers. Wahahaha

Damn! Need my counselor. Whose idea was it that I was better on my own?

Its raining cats and dogs

Its an emotional month for me and irritatingly so, my counselor has left the country. Its raining cats and dogs, meaning there is more bad news for me, and here I am making lists again.

1. I got a big contract but then I returned it and referred it to my bestfriend. She was more or less happy about it coz she'll have more funds for her house. In the end, she felt guilty and if not for the respect we had for each other, it would have gotten in between our friendship.

2. My health insurance is going to expire on my birthday so my mom and I decided to have our annual executive check up. My eyes are okay, I don't need glasses but I need an ENT consult. Might be vertigo or something else. I know my doc was holding back on saying pregnancy.

3. I'm getting my upper and lower ortho appliance but I went through a minor surgery. It hurt so bad that I don't want to go back to my dentist.

4. There were no complications about my surgery but the stitch got loose when I ate my first solid food in 3 days since the operation. Seems like I'm going back to my dentist.

5. Been told not to make issues so I have no one to talk to other than this damn blog. I created my blog for this in the first place. Why am I so damn emotional.

6. I don't want to write (for a living) for a while, or maybe forever. And I'm afraid to tell anyone.

7. I hate myself for being so damn emotional.

8. Now if I could just get my hands on a pint of supreme chocolate ice cream. Its soft and cold, good for my wound. Hope it doesnt loosen another stitch.

Forgot, need my Omepron before I eat the damn ice cream.

Better get some sleep then. Never mind the food.

If only I still smoke.