Falling Again

Its back to haunt me. I guess this is what happens when you put off something for a long time. Its true that time does not heal anything.

Yesterday, I felt like I was falling into a bottomless pit again. Luckily it was American Idol season 7 finale, so I had something to be excited about. And falling wasn't really falling, more like falling with something to hold on to.

My day was spent doing all my chores and work so I would have the evening off and I could watch American Idol without any interruptions. I enjoyed the show and my niece who would shriek in her cute little voice "David Cook!". However, my loneliness had sunk in after the show-just after all the excitement had faded. And just like any normal feeling of being lonely and depressed, it left me feeling empty. I decided to drink it off and it did work for the time being.

I love being drunk because it gives me a feeling of being carefree and it makes me sleep. So after a little booze I went to bed early only to wake up by midnight. I came to haunt me again. I was falling into this bottomless pit again.

Internet Writer Must-Haves

1. 24/7 Internet Connection. Internet is your lifeline so make sure you are connected to it all the time. You will be able to get good contracts if you visit the sites often. You will be able to do research without time constraint. And, having a 24/7 internet connection plan is cheaper.

2. Multi-coated Glasses. You will be facing the computer for long periods of time. If you don't have eye problems already, I am sure that after a month you will. Using multi coated glasses wil reduce the stress your eyes gets.

3. Coffee. Coffee to wake you up after a two-hour sleep. Coffee to last you till the wee hours. And [the aroma of] coffee to help you relax. Cheers to NESCAFE!

4. Vitamins. Drink your daily doze of vitamins. Working for long hours can be stressful. Although you may not feel the stress immmediately, when they do it may interfere with your work schedule. [Migraines can be very painful.] Vitamins B, C and Iron will equip you for the long hours of work. But do get a breather every once in a while. Don't corrupt your resouces.

5. Penguin Guide to Punctuation. Penguin Dictionary of Grammar. And, Penguin Guide to Plain English. I need not expain!

Well, there you have it! All you need to write for the internet.

One Hell of a Month!

Whew! What a month! Time does passby so quickly. As much as I had promised myself to write on this blog, I just did not have the time. Although, I really do miss writing for myself.

What am I complaining for? Hahahaha! I should be happy that my efforts have finally paid off. Well, I am but how I wish I had more resources. I wish I have more time and more writers. Thank God cash and clients are the things I do not lack.

My lack of time can be resolved if I quit my day job. It is possiblbe but I still have to weigh the pros and cons. I did not get a degree just to throw it away. Well, it wouldn't be really throwing it away. I'd still be using my degree to manage my business and I would not have this business if not for it.

Monetary gain is also one of my concerns. What I earn in a week in my business, I earn for a month in my day job. Yes, the monetary gain is higher if I quit my day job, but I work freelance and have no permanent contracts. Although I know where to obtain clients, I have been educationally trained to firmly hold a bird in one hand rather than be content on the fact that there are many birds in the bush.

A friend once told me that there is more to life than work. I have been really thinking about what she said. If I quit my day job, I would have more time to do the things I really enjoy doing. Going out, reading, baking, spending time with family and [for this summer] going to the beach.

Well, I still have to think it over.

First Quarter Report

This year started out bad for me. However, a bad start does not signify a bad year. In fact, things are turning out rather well. It is true about what they say about problems turning out to be a gold mine.

It has been two months, where am I?

I have managed to get my name on the internet.

I am now the author of 6 published articles, which can be found on several sites on the web, and the author of 10 more which are in different stages of completion. It was not easy and I never thought it would. It is a common mistake to think that internet copywriting is easy. Yes, once you get a steady stream of clients, money will start to pour in. However, you will have to put in a lot of time and effort developing and enhancing your copywriting skills and your credibility as a writer. Even if you are the best print copywriter yet you do not know how to communicate the value of your services, then you won't succeed on the web. It is all about how to get clients and how to handle your clients.

Of Blogs and Feeds

I have managed to increase traffic on my blog and, unintentionally on this one too.

I never really thought about how hooked up I am on what I have been doing for the last two months. I drove by a shop, that had a FEEDS sign, one day. I was on an office errand and I usually do not think about my copywrting during office hours, [Yes, I have a day job] but when I saw the sign, it got my mind working. It got me to thinking about my site and articles FEEDS. It was not until I had resolved my FEEDS problem that I realized the shop was selling hog FEEDS!

More good things to come

Lem told me to expect more good things to come. Indeed, I am expecting more.

In less than two months I have learned new words, written articles and I now know the difference between a semicolon and a colon. At this rate, I am excited to know where I will be after a year.

I see the need to open another blog, one that would concentrate on copies for women's magazines. It will be hard work ahead, but I do not mind. I enjoy writing and working to get my blogs on search engines.

Thank you

Thanks to Lem, who introduced me to copywriting. I have found a way to redirect my anxiety. You know I needed this.

Thanks to my family who supports me and believes that I will keep the ball rolling until it gathers the momentum of a speed ball. I am expecting the new laptop and digicam, hahahaha!

And of course, my clients and the people who posted my articles on their sites. Expect more good, original and solid content from me.

The Biggest Mistake In My Life

I am a snob! Yes, it is true and I am not ashamed to say this. Yet, I can be funny and friendly in my own womanly way. I choose my firends well especially of the opposite sex. I do not spread myself too thinly, so, when I consider someone a friend, he/she is a friend for life.

When I was in college I got hooked on chat. I met a lot of persons, mostly Filipinos. I did not chat with foreigners; afraid that the cultural differences would get in the way of pursuing true friendship. To make the story short, I got hooked on someone and got dumped, several times, I might add.

I turned my back on him, the last time there was any dumping that happened. I could have moved to where he was, yet I opted to turn my back. Turning my back on him [and yes on love and companionship as well] was the hardest decision I had to make. I was not making rational decisions anymore, which was my trademark among my friends. My turning back gave me a good view of the relationship. And I realized, I had made the biggest mistake in my life. I was a snob for one reason, to keep away from the likes of him. The person who is so bitter enough not to maintain a friendship. I have things to say, and I hope you listen well:

1. May I remind you that you literally told me to get lost. With the things you called me, I would not want to do anything else.

2. I have changed my URl, meaning I do not want you to find me, but you did. Do not leave me any messages. I have no interest in you or in anything that you have to say.
3. I have nothing more to offer you, my offer of friendship do not stand anymore. I offered it that one time, and you forfeited it by not taking it. I could only care less for people who do not know the value of friends.
4. I do not know you, I never have.

It's good to be home

Home at last! I spent a few days-boring days I might add, in the BIG city. I've always found the city a melancholic place to be in. I finished the things I needed to oversee early, and I found myself without nothing to do. How ironic is that? I was in the city that had everything!

My day started out rather nice. It had stopped raining, so with coffee in hand, I took a walk around. I always feel at peace here. I spend my weekdays in our house in the city(not the BIG city I was talking about) but this is where home is for me. Much of the highlights of my childhood were spent here. The memories I have were either with my great grandfather-he started this farm or with my young aunts and uncles. Life is simple here. To get what you need, you'd have to work for it. If you wanted fresh organic fruits and vegies, you'd have to plant them. If you wanted water, you'd have to work on the water pump. We did have an electric pump but electricity is a problem here: there isn't a week that goes by without a black out, that lasts for half a day.

When I went back in the house, I was feeling a liitle euphoric that I wanted to write. But just as I was about to , the electricity went out. I've just recently learned that life is all about making choices. If I chose to brood about not having electricity, my day would be ruined. I chose not to, so I busied myself with the morning chores that needed to be done. The hired help do not come on Sundays, so it was just me and my lola. I did the dishes-first cleaning the dirty kitchen and working with the water pump so I could stock-up the water I would need. My lola went about feeding the animals. It was good bonding for both of us. It's only been a while that I reconnected with her-due to my problem and all the sad things that had happened to me. Of all the people who would understand me most, it would be her. She encourages me to continue writing. When I'm a bit depressed about my writing she reminds me that I'm just starting, I'm still young and I have a lot to learn. I blame myself for not giving any attention to writing for the last eight years. My fourteen-year old cousin writes well and has already written a novel. I should have started when I was in high school. But as they say, better late than never.

My lola and I had lunch together. We had fresh fish and vegies. I ate plenty, which was very unlikely because of my bad eating habits lately. My lola was happy I did, I am too. It got me to thinking about the reason I eat plenty when I'm here. I know it's not the dishes we cook here because we usually have the same dishes in the city. Maybe, it is because I am happy here. I feel good about myself, and when I do, I feel my life has meaning. It motivates me to eat.

After lunch, there was still no electricity so I decided to write my copies the old fashioned way: in pen and paper. Two hours after:here I am, still writing, with David Benoit and Yanni on my playlist....

Washing my laundry in public?

My friend, after reading my post "A Journey", asked me why I posted, for all the world to read, what had happened to me. I simply told him that I do not care if the world knew what happened to me. Maybe they'd find something helpful in it for them.

Am I washing my laundry in public? I think not. I'm telling the world who I am.

I failed.

I was hurt.

I realized my mistakes and failures.

I accept the pain.

I am walking out of it with grace and my dignity intact.

I did not break any of the principles I believe and walk on.

I am proud to say I am Lil Feather.

I am not afraid to tell the world I am moody-I will always will.

I know I can love unconditionally.

SO...

I do not need to HIDE anymore.