Choices

I'm bone weary. Today I found out that we won't be seeing a little one in nine months and what's worse is that it felt like I lost him too. Though I don't blame him but I wish he was his usual self. We usually balance each other out, I'm the one who worries too much and he tries to calm me down. But this time, he got too lonely for that missed chance to the point of almost pushing me away. I'm disappointed too but I guess deep inside, I'm angry as well. I think the problems and issues about the upcoming events are taking its toll on me.

What I hate most are people who sacrifice the value of being there for family or being happy for a family member with worrying about the cost of things. I've been the alternate bread winner for my siblings for almost five years now and I've learned that things are not always about money. Once, I was this person who was too serious to have fun with my siblings since I worried too much about finances. Yes, sometimes situations can be difficult to handle but we do have the choice on how much we want them to affect us. We do have the right to play or be happy even in the most difficult of circumstances. We have the right to look ahead; to look at the more beautiful things that will happen; to welcome the chance to try again.