I came across this episode on a book by George Dawes Green. This pretty much sums up what I'm going through. And I quote:
Our guest doesn't think his ass has any value. It's sort of a reverse enlightenment-he himself, the I of him, he imagines is worthless. Meanwhile he values dearly the world around him. Some of the creatures in it. Its platitudes. Its jewels. Like all frightened losers, he makes too much of these things. What in Tibet they call the lokas-the blurred smoldering lights of temptation. He's built an altar to them, when we threaten him, he puts his back to the altar. He'll defend it with his life.
"So what do we do?"
It wont be easy. Its not a matter of slapping him around a little. It takes great suffering and patience and persistence to change things at the souls core. But once he learns his lesson, I believe that he'll be grateful for it or I hope he will. Despite his anger. Despite his bitterness.
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