My Wish for You

How I wish I can bring back time and take all this sadness away, yet as I have said before, all the happiness might be lost as well.

I want to thank you for a lot of things.

First, I want to thank you for the happiness and dreams we have shared this last five years. It is just sad though, that when it mattered most, we were not there for each other.

Thanks for your actions that allowed me to grow. Although the last five months have been hell for me, I'd be willing to go through it again if it means giving me more opportunity to grow. My gratitude however does not mean that I agree with your recent actions. I wish you could have acted in a more subtle and mature way.

I have grown more and matured the last five months than I have the last five years. I have achieved more patience and objectivity, realizing that not all that I plan and want, happens the way I intend them to be. I have found peace with the sounds and beauty of nature. Watching the sunrise both gives me sadness and joy. Sadness, because I know I have to move on, I am being given another chance at life and love. Joy, because God gave me this beauty to appreciate and I am thankful that despite my sadness, I could still find joy and beauty in such a simple thing. How I wish I could share that peace I feel every morning, but you are on a different level of self discovery yourself, and I can only wish you well.

God has been good to me as well. I have learned to rely on the power of prayer. You won't appreciate more the love of God unless you are faced with the most painful situation. As I have learned, this situations is just a way of pushing ourselves to do better, to be a better person. And I found that I was never alone and never have been. When I think that my day is the gloomiest day ever, God has a way of sending a ray of light, that no matter how small , it never fails to give me joy that would encourage me to live, even just through the day. And I was amazed at the rays of light God has given me, old friends, new friends or even just strangers whose simple actions or words have been a blessing to me.

My wish for you is to be truly happy, as what you have said. I am sad though at your lack of respect for her and your relationship. Be the good person that you are, when I met you. The person that I have grown to love and respect despite your mediocrity, immaturity and childish ways. Though I am flattered of your attention and love, I know it is wrong and I want you to be a better person. I want you to have this chance at love, at life. To have the right perspective about life and love. And to learn, what really are the important things in life.

Accepting who you are is not enough. I advice you to outgrow your childish ways, because there are already a lot of things being thrown your way that requires you to act with care and maturity. I do not want to see you fail.

Sadly, I have associated my happiness with you and our relationship, have associated the happiest morning in my life with you. But now, that I have seen our differences and physical incompatibility, it is obvious that to continue to want a relationship with you, would only result to a disaster. I know, I can find that happiness again, and I hope that you pray I do.

As of now, the answer to my prayers is "To wait".