Letter

I have many things to say, and you always seem to be busy and can't find time for us to talk. And when we do talk, it is always hurried because of the lack of time and we end up having more misunderstandings. So i decided to write it down.

Last December, I had already given up on the possibility that there would be a good ending for us after all this. When you told me that you won't be able to leave her anymore, I am only to guess that things have gotten so complicated between the two of you. You know me, I do what is right and what is logical. You can't say I did not try to fix this. The only thing I dont understand is why you would come back when things have already become complicated for the two of you. That was the most hurtful thing that you ever did to me. I went to Manila with no expectation. I only wanted to enjoy the time that you would give so I would have something to hold on to during the times that I would long for you. But then, things have gotten more complicated. Yes, we talked, and have thanked you enough for it already, but your explanations just dont seem o fit. You treated me as if I was the other woman, when in fact, when you look back, of when the two of you became a couple, I think it's the other way around. But you know me, I know how to respect other persons feelings, I just accepted what you were willing to give me. I did not want to give what you were asking for for two reasons: 1.) You had another girl, and I do not want her to be put in the same situation that I am now. You do not seem to respect her much. I do, even if I shouldnt. Ayoko ma karma, I just can't imagine the turmoil I would be in right now, if I said yes. I wouldn't be alive anymore siguro kakaisap where the two of you are every night since monday, but I do think about it and I am getting sicker every day. You don't seem to care. 2.) I would not want to loose my virginity in some cheap motel, that I even paid for.

You are right, you do not seem to know what is right and wrong. It is never right to sleep with two women at the same period of time, especially when you say you love them both. IT IS NOT RIGHT. IT IS UNETHICAL.

As for my moving there, I had already planned to move there last December. Yet you dumped me and I just went crazy spending money everwhere. I did not tell you I was planning to move there and of my resignation too. I plannned to surprise you. But then, I asked you what you wanted after my trip there. You said "try n try pa rin natin", na "ang totoo you want me to move there to see how we will go along". I am okay with that I dea, but you said "try NATIN". I would do my part, but you are not willing to do yours. Here I am planning my move there, and you are still seeing her. You can't seem to choose. And I do not want to ask this from you because you should know what to do. Given your age and your level of maturity. I tell you, it isn't fare for me. After thinking about my moving there for a long time, 3 days actually, it would be like taking my life, taking into consideration the amount of money I have. Since you are not yet financially stable, I know I wouldn't be able to ask you for help financially. So I just thought maybe we could see each other and spend it well, so we could have something to hold on to while we are not yet together. But you seem to be nandidiri with the idea. And given the current situation, that you don't even talk to me anymore and the two of you are together every night, I think I understand your reaction. What I don't understand is why you want me to move there when you have someone else already? Mabibitay ako when I go there at wala na akong maaabutan. And what you said kanina have led me to decide to let go na lang. You said, wala na ako maabutan, miski ngaung end of the month. e, sa feb 17 pa ang sked ko tlga, so walang wala na akong maabutan. I can accept anything, as long as it is the truth, no matter how painful. If that is the situation between the two of you, na wala na ako maabutan, then, we really have no chance d ba? I only require full honesty from you, yet hindi mo maibigay. And if I were in her position, na sabi mo nga, may nangyari na sa inyo, I would assume na kasal na ang end for it. So, I am letting you go. I am still hoping though na it would end well for us. But I am leaving it up to you. Ayoko maging makulit at mawalan ka ng respect for me. My offer still stands, I am inviting you over this Feb. 17 and 18. Para I can have something to hold on to during the hard times that will come my way. No expecations, no responsibilities.

But you know what I am really hoping for. I can only pray for your happiness, I've always wanted that for you, yet sadly, you have put us in a level where I cannot fully want that for you.

Kung magbago ang isip mo, I will still be here. Just find your way home, to us. You know how much I love and care for you.